Scary

This whole dating thing is a little scarier than I thought it would be. Sure, it's not the first time I've dated someone, but that was so long ago and it's just a lot different. I needed to put this somewhere so this is the place. Sorry if it makes you gag. But that's part of that honesty thing, right?

I like him so much. So much in fact, that if he's not here at any point, I wish he was. Pretty much anything I do, I'd rather be doing with him. Oooh that's scary. It puts me in this vulnerable place that I don't like. What if he doesn't like me that much? What if I just don't know how to read him? What if he regrets this whole thing and just doesn't know how to break it to me? I see myself falling so far for him. And sometimes, I wake up in the middle of the night because I was dreaming about him and I can't go back to sleep.

This dating thing is distracting! Not in a super bad way, I mean, I'm doing the things I need to do. And actually, my times with the Lord have been really regular and really good over the past few days. (It helps that he's constantly asking about them or asking what I'm learning, so processing just happens naturally.) But in general, my head is in the clouds a lot more than it was.

The other day, Devin was over here and he used my computer and saw that I had a blogger tag and was like "do you have a blog?" And I told him about the underground blogging, and he said "what's the name of yours?" And I was like "definitely not telling you that..." He said "oh come on, i'm not gonna read it, i'm just curious." Haha...riiiiight.

In other news, I read Psalm 45 yesterday (one of my favorites) and fully reccomend you guys reading it and reading this commentary on it: http://www.spurgeon.org/treasury/ps045.htm Such good stuff, and so focused on the beauty and majesty of Christ. Lovin' the Psalms these days :)